DON'T DREAM IT, BE IT: 3 Magical Tips (+ 2 Magic Rituals!) For Self-Transformation

(Rocky Horror via Pinterest)

(Rocky Horror via Pinterest)

Are you ready for a transformation? To upgrade or retool your reality, orchestrate psychic breakthroughs, & start leading an extraordinary life? 

Maybe you’ve left college, are entering a mature relationship, or your business is finally getting predictable. Whatever the scenario, you probably want some fresh insight & a magical boost!

Which is why I have 3 magical tips & 2 magic rituals to help manifest your self-transformation! Each tip comes with a short exercise, so you have some psychic material to work with in the magic. 

FYI: I’m going to reference a ritual process I share in the New Moon Ritual Roadmap, which you can receive totally gratis. It will help structure the 2 rituals I share, so all you have to worry about is personalizing the magic! I’ll link you to it when we get there.

Let’s get started!



So, you probably have a vision of who you want to be, what you want to do, & how you want your world to look.

Actually... do you really? Or is your wanting for mega-life change mostly based on a hope, a smattering of ideas, or a formless, unnamable yearning? Maybe you know exactly what you don't want (maybe it's EVERYTHING about your life right now), but the ultimate concept is sketchy, or just that... a concept.

In matters of magic & transformation, I don't rely on vision. Vision is abstract & ghostly, though I might absolutely believe in its potential.

Instead, I rely on fantasy. Fantasy is sense-based, evocative, & fluid. You can't slow the momentum on fantasy; fantasies aren't tied to the laws of physics, principles of negotiation, or other protocol of "reality." 

I use fantasy to explore the What If...? of my intent. Fantasy "activates" the intent by striking it DEEP into your body & subliminal mind. It can strike deeply, because the intent isn't just a well-crafted affirmation: it's a full-out bodily experience. Mm, I want that.

So, how do you use intents & fantasies with magic rituals? Not without phantasms. A phantasm is a 3D sensory-based aesthetic. It's like a vivid, full-body psychic manifestation of the transformational experience you want. 

With phantasms, your vision is more than an idea; your intent is more than a hopeful resolution. @@A vision without an intent is just a mirage.@@

Your phantasm has the look, taste, texture, & vibes of the your fantasy. (Which is the fantasy of your transformation.) The ritual instills the phantasm in your subconscious body, so you’ll feel it as if it is as true-life as a memory (versus a manipulatable daydream). Not unlike how you experience reading a novel: the reality feels evocative & true, even if it’s just a bunch of sense descriptions poetically arranged on the page. 

You can taste the success right now & it tastes like Godiva chocolate ganache; it feels like pulling your hair back into a perfect chignon; it sounds like the soft bap-badda-bapping of your fingertips on a new laptop keyboard.

How do you bring the phantasm to the ritual?

Give form to the fantasy. Ritual spaces represent microcosms of the macrocosmic affect you want on reality. So, you will gather materials, symbols, & ideas evoking aspects of your phantasm, to be manipulated in your ritual. These materials are called synthemata.

Think about your grandmother's mother-of-pearl engagement ring; the heels you were wearing the night you met your boo; the latin phrase your sorority sisters used to toss out when wishing each other luck. These are all totemic items. These items evoke feelings & sensations. You want to tap that. Synthemata is the same thing.

Synthemata gathering is totally personal & individualistic, but I’ve used items like new lipgloss, a receipt from an upscale cafe, or a print-out from websites congratulating literary award winners. These items can be manipulated in the ritual in a way that your phantasm can't be. (Because, well, the fantasy is imaginary.) 

If you want more details about phantasms & synthemata, visit my Goddess Altars post, where I describe using a phantasm to conjure your Patron Goddess. Take the advice, but instead of gathering synthemata for your Patron Goddess, gather it for your manifest self!

So, how does the synthemata come into play during the ritual? And how will you braid it into your ceremony? 

I explain it to you step-by-step in the Ritual Roadmap. I won't be able to tell you what to use as synthemata, but I guide you on where / how to incorporate it into your ritual. 

The roadmap is modifiable. Customize it. Print it out & read through it several times, then jot down notes of what you think your own ritual environment should look & feel like. 


  • SUPPLIES: an altar / ritual station, a candle, a dish of salted water, a square piece of paper (flash paper recommended), & a mini-cauldron or metal wastebasket (free of debris). (Bonus points if you have all the swag I recommend in my new moon magic post.)
  • TIME: within 7 days after the new moon.
  • APPROX. TIME COMMITMENT: 1.5 - 2 hours.

Mindset is so important for creating a new moon ritual. Visit my post about creating yummy new moon magic for advice about approaching magic, & also because I explain ALL the swag & concepts you’ll need to create a really yummy mystical experience. (Plus, I walk you through using your new moon ritual roadmap!)

Besides the gear you need for performing the ritual, include all the synthemata you gathered for your phantasm. Set it on your altar. You can also dress up in synthemata, create a playlist of it, & trick out your ceremony space to look / feel like the new self you're trying to manifest.

In fact, you can turn the entire day of the new moon into a phantasmic meditative journey! Spend the day living as if you’ve already transformed. (As best as you can.) Dress, dine, & speak in ways agreeing with who you want to become. When you finally do get into your ritual, your phantasm is more richly evocative!

Your phantasm comes into play in the pre-ceremonial meditation, just before you transfer to your altar. You don't have to be an expert at this, but you definitely need a vivid enough phantasm that its reality can overtake you--even if its fleeting or you're able to sustain it for only seconds!



Change is inevitable, but transformation is by conscious choice.
— Heather Ash Amara

What course of action do you have to get on NOW to inevitably arrive where you want to be?

An action plan outlines your strategy for transformation. (Otherwise—remember—it will stay a mirage!) You don't have to think of it as a strategy (that's just how eye think). You can think of an action plan as an outline of the process, unfoldment, or blossoming of your transformation. You can actually draft a mission statement to carry you through your transformation.

Write your action plan / mission statement a week or so after performing your new moon ritual, during the waxing gibbous moon. (Need help tracking all these moon phases? Bookmark the MoonGiant lunar calendar or download the Deluxe Moon App.)

You have to understand the thoughts, feelings, & behavior preempting the kind of person you want to become. Grab your journal & begin the examination!

First, conjure your phantasm to mind. With pen & paper, answer the 4 questions: 

  • What does she do?
  • How does she do it?
  • Why does she do it?
  • Where does it take her?

Why does she believe, feel, & act the way she does? What does she believe—about herself, about other people, about the world? How does she wake up feeling? How does she process her emotions? What’s the rhythm of her life? What micro-habits & routines pattern her life?

For example, if your phantasm feels sleek, taut, & energized, then your transformed self probably hits the gym once or twice a day. What would you have to believe about yourself to get up & out the door? …Even in freezing cold weather? …During season finales of your fav TV?

You can mind-map the answers to these questions. You can tear out a page from your planner & blueprint a whole "day in the life." You can list from A to Z all the activities, habits, & types of people you have to experience to start believing & feeling & living the way you want to. 

Are you a sentimental person? Or do you have people in your life who would feel threatened by even small changes you make?

Or maybe you're feeling resistant, though you still really want to change. 

If so, I have a cleansing ritual to help you confront, process, & diminish the psychic effect of resistance! 


  • SUPPLIES: an altar / ritual station, a candle (black is thematically on-point), a square piece of paper (flash paper recommended), & a mini-cauldron or metal wastebasket (free of debris). 
  • TIME: 7 days or so after the full moon.

Use this ritual to disable the energetic strength of self-limiting memories, beliefs, & habits. 

Note: this ritual isn't a psychic lobotomy! Doing this ritual doesn’t trivialize the memories or experiences you’ve had. This magic loosens their grip on you. Because whatever feels relevant in your mind & body totally controls your behavior. Don’t let the past gnarl your future!

Okay, the prep for this process is very similar to the new moon ritual. (Have you scored your copy of the roadmap yet?) You’ll need meditative time & space. Conjure your phantasm. Soak it up for as long as you need. It should still give you pleasure & inspire self-satisfaction.

When you move to the altar, write down your self-limitation on the square of paper (you can use multiple squares, if needed). Write a sentence, a single word, or draw a sigil. If set up for it, you can do something abstract, like watercolored scenes. If you mean business, use real photographs, letters, or small paper mementos (find some way to imprint your intent on these materials--autograph the back or something like that). 

Light the candle. Without risk of mayhem or injury, touch each square to the flame, then drop into the cauldron / waste bin to burn. For each touch, say aloud: “THIS is not what I do”, “THIS is not how I do it”, “THIS is not why I do anything”, “I am going away from this”. 



As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning.
— Criss Jami, Killosophy

So, how are you going to make room in your life for all these new activities & experiences?

Time to simplify! Get ready to start throwing stuff out!

Every object you chuck out frees up mental-emotional space, so be brutal. Don't objectify your love for your grandmother by keeping around a scratchy, deteriorating blanket she knitted for you. Donate it to the animal shelter. Throw out the clothes you don't fit in--PERIOD. Don't hope to suddenly look marvelous in a sundress 3 sizes too small. Unless the object in-of itself serves a future purpose (independent of memories or feelings associated with it), chuck it out. 

Next, get the chi zipping through your body. Put on some Gaga & dance around your de-cluttered apartment. Throw down your yoga mat & lean into an impromptu yinasa flow. Cartwheel or invent your own erotic dance choreography. Spritz a sage essence around the house.

Arrange your furniture according to your new daily activities. Instead of letting the big screen & couch dominate the living room, scoot them over & make room for your easel or writing desk. If you're going to start cooking delicious gourmet meals for yourself, start cleaning up your dishes after using them.

For every new item you bring into your house (your car, your purse, etc.), ask yourself, "Does this agree with who I want to be?" 

So those are my tips & rituals for helping your transformation! 

YOU can live an outrageous, marvelous, incandescent life. 

In fact, I need you to have one. Personally. I do. 

I need you to be the kind of person who gets everything she wants. I want you to know how to satisfy your own needs, fulfill your own desires, & manifest a luscious reality for yourself. I want you to have all the experiences your soul craves as part of your evolution. I want you to find the kindred spirits you need in your life. 

I need this from you, because I know: once you have it, you’ll have an excess of lusciousness to spread around.

Happy transformation!