© Daniel Taylor, The Negative Series — © Daniel Taylor, *The Negative Series*

Mercury retrograde is like that cunning ex-boyfriend who regularly shows back up in your life, knocking you off your orbit.

He leaves a random voicemail at 4AM telling you to check out a Spotify playlist he created to play along with today’s sunrise (when you haven’t spoken to each other in months). You suddenly notice him bartending at the exact moment your best friend screams and banishes you from her birthday party (what did she think you said?!). You think of this particular ex whenever you're taking stock of your life and wonder, When was the last time everything was this out of control?

And sometimes, while you’re teary from overwhelm and frustration, you’ll sleep with him again. (He won’t even act surprised.)

But--just like Mercury retrograde--no matter how perfectly timed his re-emergence in your life, you will inevitably remember why you broke up with him in the first place: he is absolutely unreliable, refusing to stay par for the course, even if veering into the weeds means shitting on other people’s carefully arranged lives.

Mercury retrograde is a cyclical decompression you will never shake. Its disruption can make you feel like you'll never actually be in control of your life, however “in control” looks for you.

But the detour can be so refreshing. 👌🏻 Sure, Mercury retrograde may bring some frazzling scenarios, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s a pleasant, astrologically ordained respite from life's usual go-go-go pace.

Mercury retrograde brings an opportunity to measure self-growth; to re-evaluate your perspective and course-correct.

And I want you to get really use this opportunity ✨✨✨, so let me give you some astrology-hacks for making the most of Mercury retrograde!

(And maybe some of this might be useful for dealing with ruinous exes.)

But first—what IS Mercury retrograde?

When planets go retrograde, they look like they’re scooting backwards across the sky. The planet isn’t technically going backwards: it’s just scootched closer to the Sun, looking like a reverse motion from here on earth.

The effect? For any planet, retrograding or going “indirect” just feels like a slackening of the planet’s mojo, and how that mojo is expressed in its current sign.

In most astrology lore, of all the planets, Mercury retrograde causes the most drama. Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, Truth, and travel--all the areas of life we have the least patience for going awry. When those areas are running smoothly, life is smoother.

So, preparation is key to surviving (and even thriving) during Mercury retrograde. Mercury retrograde is the perfect time to ease your foot off the gas and take stock, but you've got to stay on top of Mercury's trajectory and get your house in order ahead of time. You don’t want deadlines or expectations hanging over your head while Mercury retrogrades. You should avoid making big decisions while Mercury is retrograde and you definitely should put fail safes in place (and test them ahead of time).

Mercury retrograde lasts about 3 weeks at a time, but has been known to go longer. Plug reminders into your phone a few days prior to when Mercury goes retrograde, so you have plenty of buffer.

How will I know Mercury is about to go retrograde in the future?? >>>> Check out this post of all my favorite online astrologers, most of whom dispatch astro newsletters that will keep you in the know. 👍🏻

When your Calendar alerts go off, grab your daily planner along with your diary (or, alternately, your grimoire-planner✨). What's going on in your life right now? What are you anticipating in the next few weeks?

Highlight in bright ink all the projects, parties, date nights, class assignments, and travel plans slated during retrograde season, and begin taking cautionary measures, which I’ll outline below. 💫

Mercury retrograde hits everybody a little different--worse for those among us who tend to procrastinate, resent downtime and delays, or who generally avoid re-evaluating where they’ve allotted time and focus.

When Mercury goes indirect, it can feel as though getting an urgent phone call from the IRS just as a tornado has struck your house, and you’ve suddenly come down with the flu.

But… since it’s gonna keep happening, once you learn to anticipate and collaborate with Mercury, he becomes one of your best trickster allies (exactly like that bogus ex-bf who couldn’t stop texting other women, but is so pro at debugging your laptop remotely, thank you very much).

Remember, I have a few insights to help you help you make the most of the switch-up in the skies, but I also wanted to provide this magical reframing of Mercury retrograde from Dark Star Astrology:

“Mercury generally zips between two worlds, or rather, the two hemispheres of our brain. During the Mercury retrograde period, it feels like Mercury has gone down into the underworld. In this realm, closer to spirit, we become more right-brain orientated. It is dark, so other senses are heightened.”

Mercury retrograde is a magical time for consciousness, for re-pacing our pursuits, and maybe course-correcting.

I like this hint Dark Star also supplies about where Mercury’s retrograding might affect you:

“The house in your natal chart that the Mercury retrograde falls in will be your Underworld zone. There you will question everything. It will make you jittery about signing contracts because you will be constantly thinking, “Is this what I really want?”.

Before the retrograde is a good time to finish off those Solar left-brain projects and gather information to bring down with you into your retrograde cave. Then you can slow things down, let yourself be taken into other dimensions, try on different filters, experiment, shine a light on your demons, then recharge and reboot.”

Where does Mercury land on your chart—the sign and house? >>>> Check out this post to find out where you can get a (totally free) copy of your natal chart, and then check out this post to find out how to decrypt your planetary placements (including Mercury)!

I link you to some other tips for tackling those “Solar left-brain projects” at the bottom, but how else might Mercury retrograde affect you? >>>> Keep reading to find out more intel! ✌🏻

WHAT TO EXPECT: SUN SIGN HOROSCOPES FOR MERCURY RETROGRADE

According to How To Survive Mercury Retrograde, you might predict Mercury retrograde’s toll by looking at your Sun sign, or the sign you look for when reading your horoscope in a magazine. Your Sun sign speaks to your conscious development and experience, and might be where Mercury retrograde most obviously affects you.

How else might Mercury retrograde affect you? >>>> I link to other sources where you can find out and fine-tune your expectations below, keep reading. ✌🏻

FIRE SIGNS (Aries ♈️, Leo ♌️, Sagittarius ♐️)

For the fire signs, Mercury retrograde might feel as if your spark has flashed out. You’ll feel restrained, uninspired, a little self-doubtful. Quality alone time is highly recommended for fire signs during Mercury retrograde, but if you must press on, warn your friends: proceed with caution.

Mercury retrograde will pull the heat off your current projects and newly kindled passions, which you may confuse as disinterest. Don’t call it quits just yet—wait to see how you feel after Mercury goes direct. Press pause on the project if you’re getting fed up with your own lack of enthusiasm. Offer a rain check if you don't seem to be vibing with your date.

You’ll feel overly sensitive and even worried about your sudden droop in oomph. Your imagination will run haywire along with your emotions. Am I depressed? Do I have a vitamin B deficiency? Is someone I know a psychic vampire?!

Communication breakdowns are MAJOR during Mercury retrograde, so you’ll be pricklier than usual—and yes, probably assume your friends are either criticizing you or feeding off your usually abundant energy. Excuse yourself from the conversation before lashing out. If you do have a fight with your friends / lovers, don’t take it as a sign that the relationship has soured. (Kyle and Ruby are most likely not psychic vampires.)

Overall, fire signs should use retrograde as an opportunity to grab a few deep lungfuls of air and let the dust settle. This is the time to finally pick up a meditation practice, try that yinasa yoga DVD your friend loaned you, or revisit projects left to congeal on the back burner. Now’s the opportunity to finally tie them off or harvest them for parts.

EARTH SIGNS (Taurus ♉️, Virgo ♍️, Capricorn ♑️)

Earth signs can expect to feel jolted during Mercury retrograde. But against all your typical earth-sign instincts, don’t push. Flexibility is key to staying sane during Mercury retrograde.

By flexibility, I mean willingness to change course on a dime and not getting attached to outcomes. Mercury retrograde is not the time for perfectionism! If you’ve gotta stick to a schedule, allot extra time for thinking up creative solutions. (Hint, hint… Because you’ll definitely be thrown some curve balls—an unexpected bill, a project ending up in the weeds, etc.) Assume you’ll make a few mistakes and that you’ll be able to correct them later.

For the earth signs, Mercury retrograde’s a good time to realize that loosening your grip isn’t the same as losing control. If you start feeling pigheaded, break routine. In fact, put aside your daily planner. (You've known Mercury retrograde was coming, so you've already scheduled auto-pay and phone alerts for your important tasks, right? And also double-checked them? 'Course you did.)

You might actually feel like going into hermit-mode, and that’s okay. Turn off your phone notifications, stay indoors, and try getting creative. What's been catching your eye on Pinterest lately? Making homemade pasta, redecorating the bathroom, or designing your own stationary? Now's a good time to play and experiment.

Virgo is ruled by Mercury and in some ways, you’ll land better on your feet than the other signs. Be advised, though: your most self-destructive traits will be amplified during this time. Plan for small interruptions--like setting an alarm to remind you to move onto a different task, so you don't become consumed by minutiae.

AIR SIGNS (Gemini ♊️, Libra ♎️, Aquarius ♒️)

Air signs suffer hard during Mercury retrograde. Something feels missing—your sharp wit and quick references are no longer top-of-mind. All during Mercury retrograde, you'll feel like you’re missing a crucial piece of information--as if there’s something unintelligible right in front of you. You’ll want to worry at it like a new cavity, but try leaving it alone. Instead, try being more present.

For air signs, this is a perfect time for a mental detox and reboot! Feed your mind with fresh new experiences. When spaciness overwhelms you, take a stroll or plan a trip to a new part of the city. Take yourself to the museum.

This might sound left-field, but try to avoid caffeine, or at least substitute your morning cuppa with a milder stimulant, like Yerba Mate. If you find yourself sniping at grocery cashiers (what a moron!) or correcting your friends' grammar in a text message, it's time to unplug. Go for that walk or make headway in your reading list.

Gemini is also ruled by Mercury, which will give you a certain advantage: you'll detect a change in the air days before your phone reminder will alert you that Mercury retrograde is approaching. When signs of Mercury going retrograde come up (mental static! breakdowns in communication!), take a deep breath and let your thoughts settle. Let the static move through you. Stay in the mo'.

WATER SIGNS (Cancer ♋️, Scorpio ♏️, Pisces ♓️)

During Mercury retrograde, water signs tend to feel muddled. You’ll feel slower on the uptake and get flustered easily. This can lead into a nasty downward spiral of negative thinking. Mercury retrograde is a perfect time for introspection, but you’ll need to put some precautions in place to keep you off the spiral.

Let your creative instincts roam. Read as much fiction as you can, diary everyday, and give yourself a Tarot card reading. Prioritize activities that make you feel happy. If you've never done it before, try Desire Mapping. Spend Mercury retrograde figuring out how you want to feel and start planning for once Mercury goes direct. ✅

Most importantly, feed yourself plenty of nourishing vibes! Find something personal and meaningful to focus on while Mercury retrogrades. Avoid people and activities that make you feel pressured to perform in a certain way—you’ll wind up disoriented, pissed off, and hurt. Bunker down in defense of your feelings and your time, and prepare to re-emerge once the static clears.

MERCURY RETROGRADE SURVIVAL & THRIVE-VAL TIPS

How To Survive Mercury Retrograde via HellaNamaste 1.jpeg

Here's some general suggestions for gliding through Mercury Retrograde.

WAIT I FORGET—how will I know Mercury is about to go retrograde?? >>>> Check out this post of all my favorite online astrologers, most of whom dispatch astro newsletters that will keep you in the know. 👍🏻

Expect and hazard communication breakdowns. Commit to a “24 hour no-response policy” on any messages that rile you up. Be wary of your own triggers, and avoid gossip-mongering or “word vomiting” in general. Pro tip: stay off social media altogether! Got a few breakdowns already underway? 😅 Try this article: 5 Steps for Solving a Communication Breakdown, and get savvy about what causes communication breakdowns, so you can prevent them. (Bookmark it for later—it’s worth digesting slowly!)
Be wary of hook ups and anything “serendipitous.” Mercury is the trickster planet and minds are prone to changing once the planet goes direct! Also, anticipate crazy-making, miraculous-seeming “connections.” Missed connections with someone too good to be true, faces in the crowd that might look like that one-night-stand in Barcelona during junior college, old crushes becoming divorceés and passing through town. Whatever appears “meant to be” probably isn’t. Life is strange, hazard it’s strangeness! And also read about stalkers. (Psst—find out more about Mercury Retrograde + Relationships and Mercury Retrograde Dating Anecdotes from Mystic Medusa 🤣)
Avoid big ticket purchases. This is an ideal time for research on future splurges and investments. If you’ve gotta have it, get a warranty!
Don’t leave anything to chance. Back up your data. Back up your data. Back up your data. 😳 Check out this article from Creative Bloq: 8 Fail-Safe Ways to Back Up Your Data. This is a great time for organizing digital files and archiving old photos and other media on your devices, or at least starting the process, which you might finish during a future retrograde.
Indulge in a little nostalgia-a-go-go. Mercury retrograde is allllll about coming full circle. Remember the movies you used to quote all the time? What is the soundtrack of your teenage heart? Watch your fav films, listen to old mix tapes, reread your girlhood diaries and old love notes. Have a laugh, a revelation, then tuck them back away. Be wary reaching out to old flames—you might get burned! If you’ve gotta do something with all those gooey sweet feels, do it with arts ’n crafts. Scrapbook with abandon. Create a Spotify playlist and reconnect with old pals by inviting them to collaborate.
Make reconciliations. Write a note of forgiveness or apology to an old grudge, or to yourself in that period of life. Forgive yourself, forgive others, let go of all the rest. This two-part audio workshop between Brené Brown and Dr. Harriet Lerner on the art of apologizing is life-changing, and it’s totally free. ✌🏻
Do a little administrative housekeeping. Along with archiving digital files and photos, this is prime time for achieving inbox zero, and finally reviewing the Trends report in your Mint app. Tighten up all the little particulars that keep your life chugging smoothly, then look at the rivets of your “big picture,” Revisit your principles, reclaim your priorities, refine your pursuit. Eliminate excess, and whatever you’ve been hanging onto just in case. Since you're not focusing on any launches or deadlines right now, take the time to update your resume, LinkedIn profile, or mission statement. What have you been working on since this was last published? What new milestones can you add?
And a little actual housekeeping. Mercury retrograde is prime time for detoxes, decluttering, and purges en general—especially if you’re rooting around in old journals, digging up mixtapes from days yore. Marie Kondo. Period.
Pause, double-check, proof and review all important correspondence. Insure all packages and important outgoing mail. Get second opinions or request extra time on anything you’re committing to, or as the Astro Twins suggest, renew your commitments rather than make new ones. Along with that, reply to any outstanding emails or letters (especially official correspondence). If you’ve got something lengthy and meaningful to say that must be written up and proofed, draft and schedule it to send after Mercury goes direct. Program a reminder in your phone to review before send time. ✌🏻
Tie up loose ends. Finish your short story collection, your half-finished DIY craft project, or any other little upstarts you got too busy to see through. Put a bow on it. Slap a stamp on it. Put it to rest. In other words, resist starting up new projects until Mercury goes direct.

Any other tips for taking advantage of Mercury retrograde? Put me in the know. ✌🏻

Amaaazing digital art: Daniel Taylor, The Negative Series, check him out online.