The Cosmic Babe's Guide To Getting Proactive (+ Finally Vanquishing Petty, Low Vibe Drama)
If you want to lead a high vibrational life, you have to know how to hazard against the petty, low-vibe drama that wants to upset the sweet, bright flow of your beautiful life. You've got to make your ordinary rhythm high vibes sustainable, so when reality gets wicked, your reserves are stocked.
Obviously, you can't & won't get ahead of the real tragic stuff of life, but you can definitely get ahead of your inner self-saboteur.
The good news? ANYBODY can be proactive—especially if you're a “go with the flow” kind of person.
In fact, the process of getting proactive to safeguard your high vibes is really about dedicating yourself to flow.
For me, "getting proactive" was my theme. I wanted to trust in the present & not evade the future. I don't want to fret about life, so let's get tactical.
Here are my 5 best tactics to help you switch up your perspective & begin artfully preventing petty low vibe drama! Once you try them, I know: you’ll froth over with confidence, because you’ll know how to get ahead of the human drama that seems to follow you around.
First, let me firmly illustrate the difference between passive & proactive cosmic babes, so you realize for yourself where you actually stand.
ARE YOU PROACTIVE?
Getting proactive means learning to ID the difference between a proactive or reactive mindset. Reactive thinking is passive & relies on an attitude of futility or blaming. Life happens to the babe with a reactive mindset.
On the flip side, the proactive babe runs her life like a CEO. She orchestrates synchronicity in her life. She bounces off the meditation pillow & sets events into motion. She takes 100% responsibility for every outcome.
WITH A REACTIVE MINDSET: you wait for events to set the agenda ❤︎ you wait for other classmates / colleagues to volunteer answers or to divvy up responsibilities ❤︎ you break out in sweats when checking on your account balance ❤︎ you pretty much expect to pay avoidable late fees ❤︎ when the power suddenly goes out or your phone drops a call, your first question is, “Did I remember to pay them?” ❤︎ you put off projects / assignments because you claim to work better under pressure ❤︎ you won’t admit mistakes until the problem becomes obvious or you are confronted (when it’s probably too late to fix them) ❤︎ you regularly vent about your problems—in fact, you may have bitching rituals with your friends, your mother, & coworkers
WITH A PROACTIVE MINDSET: you manage to show grace under fire ❤︎ you’re attuned to what’s happening around you, making it hard to catch you unawares ❤︎ you hope for the best, but plan for the worst (a.k.a. your insurance payments are up-to-date) ❤︎ you know how to create your own flow (vs. “going with” somebody else’s flow); colleagues / classmates request to work with you ❤︎ you anticipate problems down the line (like the progress of your new workout regimen plateauing or work hours getting cut after the holiday season), & start preparing solutions ❤︎ you know your way around a To-Do list ❤︎ you tend to keep a few creative “hacks” up your sleeve ❤︎ you find or invent possible solutions to problems before taking them to anyone else ❤︎ you set phone reminders or schedule time to organize your paperwork, inbox, or house
As you read through the lists, were you reminded of any recent cringe-worthy experiences? Were you surprised to notice you have quite a few number of proactive traits? Which traits did you read & think, I want summa THAT!?
Whether you’re pretty balanced or ready for a total transformation, here are my 5 proactive tactics to help you practice proactivity!
PROACTIVE TACTIC #1: ask yourself once a day: WHAT CAN I DO NOW TO MAKE LATER AWESOME?
At its basic definition, being proactive means combining foresight with taking initiative.
You have to prepare for awesome. That means taking advantage of the time you have right now, so you can meet what’s coming down the pipeline…
...with heaps more grace & panache.
You don’t have to be psychic to have foresight. Past experience tells you what to expect. Bills come regularly. So do performance reviews & meddling calls from your nosy mother.
When you know what’s coming, all you have to decide is how you want to show up. Do you want to feel harried, annoyed, or stressed? To arrive feeling exhausted & spotted in food stains, sputtering excuses?
Or would you rather show up to life feeling charming, authoritative, & on-point?
So, ask this Q every single day: What can I do now to make later awesome?
I ask myself this question at the end of every day, just before I’m ready to curl up with a little Netflix. What can I do tonight to make tomorrow awesome? Usually, I wind up doing to one little chore or task that I could technically put off until tomorrow.
This tactic works for micro & macro events. If you’re having a shitty day at work, call ahead to arrange curbside pick-up for dinner & step out on your break to buy a new pair of slippers to wear on the drive home. Almost guaranteed that you’ll leave the work-day back at the office, where it belongs, & be ready to slink into cozy evening at home!
Here’s a macro example: If you’re sick of missing out on all the weddings, baby showers, & other fun goings-on back home (because all your airfare money is being furrowed towards paying off your tuition debt), take baby steps to start up that side-hustle that’s been at the back of your mind--after a little work upfront, you won’t have to beg off of anymore special events!
And at all costs: stop ignoring what’s coming & simply hoping for the best. Make a decision & take trivial little steps that will snowball into the outcome you will want.
That’s the spirit of taking the initiative.
Along with this, start tracking of all the moving pieces in your life--not just the regularly happening events like bills & deadlines, but upcoming events casually mentioned by your boss or a family member.
Here’s where tactic #2 comes into play…
PROACTIVE TACTIC #2: MAKE CREATING A SCHEDULE FEEL super GRATIFYING
A schedule gives you a bird’s eye view of what’s happening in your life. You can track priorities better & make sure that all the things you want to happen actually do.
I’ll link you to some planner resources in a mo’, but let me also share my best tips for creating a schedule that pulls your life together:
2a. Invest in a planner that you will love to open. Analog is best. Buy special swag, like stickers, cute markers, & fill your planner up with printables. Buy a fountain pen or set of rainbow gellies to be used exclusively for your planner. Make it irresistible & you won’t be able to keep your hands off your planner!
2b. Turn scheduling into a can’t-miss ritual. If you want to get the benefits of scheduling, get into the habit of using your planner. Coordinate your scheduling sessions with self-loving treats, like soaking in the tub or hitting the corner juice bar. Check off to-dos & plug reminders into your phone for whatever you need to stay on top off for the next couple days. This is also the time to write in any notices issued by your boss or friends about upcoming events, so you don’t forget to plan!
2c. Schedule what’s important to you first. Don’t schedule what’s important to your boo or your clients or your guru. And don’t only schedule your work hours or appointments. Use your planner to create a schedule that wraps all your responsibilities around your own flow. Your needs & desires are primary, so create a schedule that gives them priority. (Tweet it!)
Trust me—getting it all on the page will help you connect the dots & create flow. When you know what’s on the schedule, you show up more present, energized, & strategic, because you know exactly when you’ll get your’s.
Some extra resources about planners & creating schedules:
- I talk a lot about planners in this post.
- Marie explains in this video why she writes her to-do list for tomorrow before the end of today.
- Laura frightens & convinces us that we have plenty of time—168 hours every week—to get it all done.
- Btw, Danielle sells a planner that let’s you build a schedule around your core desires. (2017 edition is sold out, but enter your email to get notified when the 2018 is ready for preorder!)
- The zodiac & moon phases are important for my schedule, so I use the DeluxeMoon app to track them, then plug the major astro events into my planner.
PROACTIVE TACTIC #3: QUIT BITCHING
This might not sound very tactical, but it’s part of the mindset solution. You have plenty of time, attention, & energy to get ahead of low-vibe petty drama. Often, complaining about our problems (so much of which has been normalized as a the main feature of “girl talk”) hardwires us into a disempowering reactive mindset.
Remember, proactive babes don’t make excuses. Consequences--good & bad--are co-created. When you clock in late, let the account default, or always wind up hating your own birthday parties… it’s on you. If you want to live a high vibe life, support the conditions where high vibes flourish, & they do not flourish where there is no mojo.
When I made a vow to quit bitching, I unlocked a huge reserve of energy. I had no idea how much time-attention-energy I was throwing away complaining about what was going on in my life.
I started asking the Q: What can I do now to make later more awesome? I found myself wanting to girl-talk about what I was doing versus what was happening to me.
Check out the link to my post for more techniques I used to help me quit bitching.
PROACTIVE TACTIC #4: BUILD SYSTEMS TO PROTECT YOUR SOULFUL FLOW
Proactive babes don’t let things sit & get funky. Unopened bills don’t float around the house. Laundry doesn’t pile up. They have systems for getting things done. A to Z. Start to finish.
This isn’t the same as taking the initiative, because you’re really not looking towards a specific outcome. Systems keep your life rolling smoothly, so when major low-vibe drama does happen (break-ups, deaths in the family, natural disasters), you can just let yourself absorb & process the impact. After creating it, the system takes care of everything. Your only job is tuning in when you’re responsible for tuning in.
Here are some tips to putting systems into place:
4a. Automate your money, like bill pay & savings. Check out Ramit Sethi’s free guide for automating your personal finance. This is how you get your money house cleaned up & fully functioning! Along with that, download the Mint app. I lovvve Mint’s visuals: a mere glance tells me where I am on this month’s budget & also where all my money has gone. Mint also offers bill pay, so you can simply swipe & pay from the app itself, without having to log onto each account.
4b. Batch your housework, paperwork, & other need-to-dos. Block out time for completing similar tasks together. I’m a toddler mom PLUS writer & coach: batching is my key management device. There are a few ways to batch. Michael Hyatt talks about using the Pomodoro Technique in this blog post. If you’re the kind of babe who procrastinates until drowning in half-assed / half-started to-dos, Pomodoro might be what you need to start ripping the bandaid off.
4c. Try elegance hacking. Are you sick to death of productivity hacking? Try elegance hacking instead. When there’s a task you really have to drill down on, which you can’t automate & you can’t batch with similar tasks, make the process of doing the nitty gritty pretty & irresistible. For everything you just don’t feel like doing, coincide the task with something you do feel like doing.
Invent a monthly ritual where you drink champagne, stick your feet in a foot spa, & file your paperwork. Or drag your yoga mat into your work studio, so you can slip into Warrior Pose before cold-calling potential clients.
Get creative in order to turn the ugh into ahhh.
PROACTIVE TACTIC #5: FENGSHUI YOUR LIFE AROUND DESIRES, DEVOTIONS, & LUCK
Fengshui is an ancient system for arranging physical spaces in certain ways to optimize spiritual flow.
If you want true, sustainable, & high vibin’ self-satisfaction, you have to arrange your environment in a way that emphasizes your needs, commitments, & hopes for the future. It doesn't have to be fengshui or any system, but
So if your home is chaotic, erupting with distractions, where chores are always getting away from you (3 piles of half-folded laundry—how’d that happen?), & where you’re never quite sure where you set down your most recent bills, you’ve got serious low-vibe drama brewing.
Remember when I said that schedules give a topographical view of your life?
Well, crack open your planner & have a look. What are the tasks & activities filling up your days? Dancing, writing, loving, hosting, cooking?
Also note: how do you want to be living your life… but are still working on making it happen? Does what you’ve got down in your schedule even remotely resemble how you want to be spending your time, attention, & energy?
Your environment should be arranged in a way that makes it easy for all of that to happen. The systems you put in place (proactive tactic #4) should be about protecting your sweet, bright flow; helping you painlessly carry out the yuck work, while guarding the space you need to soak up inspiration, love, & splendor.
A few general tips for redistributing the flow of your home:
- Rearrange furniture, prioritizing the activities you want to do more. That could mean turning the TV room into a writing studio or the dining room into a work-out space. (If you’re interested in true fengshui, visit this site for a complete beginner’s guide.)
- Invest in what you need to protect your home’s flow. That might mean hiring a cleaning service or simply buying a copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
- Make this your mantra: A place for everything & everything in its place. If it doesn’t have a place, make one. Simply can’t find a place? Kiss it goodbye. If you’ve got a bit of a hoarding problem (yes, doll, it’s going to catch up with you--whether the hinges on your closet doors finally split or your credit card statements start getting away from you), try going on a “stuff diet.” Before taking new items to the checkout clerk, visualize where you’re going to put it. If you don’t have a place, it’s just one more thing to shuffle around when you’re trying to zen out at home. Think of it this way: money is a symbol of what you believe your time, attention, & energy are worth. Don’t spend it all on tchotchkes. (Plus, pointless stuff you’ve got to quickly reduce makes moving day a draaag.)
- Batch your housework. I wouldn’t advise trying to finish it all in a single day (unless you get a special kind of pleasure from that), but definitely try to swirl similar chores together, so they actually get done on a timely, regularly occurring basis. (Doing the dishes shouldn’t require its own day of the week & a celebration.)
- Don’t switch on the TV until the end of the day. Or until you’ve wrapped up everything you needed to complete today. (Including A’ing that Q: What can I do now to make later awesome?)
Before I sign off, lemme just say: I’m not one of those New Agers who are into proclaiming everywhere they go as Positive Vibes Only zones. I coach cosmic babes about sinking into & getting on good terms with the drama in their souls, which is hardly ever a sparkling, feelsy-good time.
And I think it’s also TOTALLY unsafe to do shadow-work before you have the life skills to clean up the mess shadow can leave all over your bizness. The proactive tactics I just shared were what helped me course-correct during the long intensive year of my own shadow-work. Without them, I’d probably still be in that funk.
So, hopefully these tactics meet you where you need them!
May you create the tools & inner-resources to neatly handle whatever low vibe drama threatens the sweet, bright flow of your life!
Love, magic, & wisdom,